Best Adult Christmas Movies

Either way, there’s a fantastic list of kid Christmas movies, many of them animated, and then there are the movies that just push the envelope a little bit more. Here is that list and a little bit of an explanation of where each of these movies fits and why…

Die hard

Die Hard is and will always be the reigning classic. It’s the “Stairway to Heaven,” not just of adult Christmas movies, but also of action movies. This movie spawned a sub genre of action films against terrorists they became the “Die Hard on a …” genre. From Speed to Under Siege, it went on for a while. But we’re not here to talk about Die Hard as an action movie. We’re here to talk about it as a Christmas movie. So let’s get to it.

There is a long and ongoing debate about whether or not Die Hard is indeed a Christmas movie. Some people claim that the events depicted here could have happened at any time of the year and it just happened to be Christmas. Now, I get that idea for movies where Christmas is used in the background, such as The Long Kiss Goodnight, or Lethal Weapon, or Iron Man 3 (basically any Shane Black movie,) but here, it is much more than just background. Here, the whole reason that John McClane is in town is because of Christmas. On top of that, the setting of the entire movie is a Christmas party, and the building that it is hosted in. Based on that logic, this is as much a Christmas movie as Office Christmas Party is. Couldn’t one make the argument that that could have been any party, and didn’t have to be a Christmas party? But it was, and that’s what makes it a Christmas movie.

Die Hard is loaded with Christmas elements, from Bruce Willis calling the police and talking about Santa and his reindeer to him killing a guy, dressing him up in a Santa Hat and Tinsel and writing “Ho Ho Ho,” all over him. This is a Christmas movie not because it takes place around Christmas time, but because it takes place at a Christmas party and because that’s the whole reason it is happening. Those who claim it’s not think about Christmas movie in one specific way… that they feature and are about Santa Claus. And if that was the case, than Home Alone, everyone’s beloved modern Christmas movie wouldn’t really be on their list either (other than one brief moment where Kevin does go to meet Santa.) But Die Hard is most certainly a Christmas movie, and a truly excellent one. The fact that it stays in or outside of the building for it’s entirety (other than the opening moments on a plane,) shows how committed it is to being at the party for the entire movie. It is a truly excellent film.

Scrooged

IF Die Hard is the best Christmas action movie (there isn’t really a lot of competition there, other than maybe Violent Night,( then Scrooged is the best Christmas comedy. Bill Murray hits it out of the park here as Frank Cross, a modern take on Ebeneezer Scrooge. This time, he’s the head producer of a TV network that is airing A Christmas Carol on Christmas Eve. And he’s a jerk to everyone he comes across, which includes firing a guy who disagrees with him, despite it being Christmas.

Cross gets visited by three ghosts, just like the story of A Christmas Carol goes, and he does go into the past, present, and future, but nothing in any of these places is what you would expect. In fact, even the ghosts are unique in their personalities, from the cab driving wise cracking ghost of the past to the fairy who will hit you in the nuts when you least expect it, ghost of the present.

Many of the best scenes in this movie are the ones that take place away from the ghosts, when we see Cross going about in his daily life. From visits to the set of the show they are making, during rehearsals to a dinner at a restaurant where Cross starts seeing things including a waiter on fire, these scenes really deliver. And the music does too. This movie has some absolutely fantastic background music that really captures the spirit and energy and zaniness of this whole production. It’s a wild, off the hook, very very black comedy, and there’s no other actor in the world who could have given us the kind of performance that Murray does here. He completely lights this thing up and makes it as crazy and hilarious as it could be.

The Night Before

Speaking of takes on A Christmas Carol, here’s another one that couldn’t be any more different from Scrooged. The Night Before doesn’t make it obvious that it’s a take on a Christmas Carol. In fact, the only connection is that our main character keep meeting a drug dealer and when they are with him at three different times, they have visions of the past, present, and future, (because of the drugs they are tripping on.) But this movie find clever ways to approach that. For example, it is not the same character who meets with this “spirit,” each time, but each of our three main characters, meeting with him exactly once. That helps keep the movie fresh.

What also keeps it fresh is that other than those brief scenes with the “ghost-spirit-drug dealer,” this is a completely original movie. It’s not about Santa or about going from an asshole to a good person, A Christmas Carol style, but about three guys who are trying to figure out where they are in life and overcome their fears. One character is about to become a father, another is about to sign a deal with a football team, and a third can’t find his independence away from his friends. And all of it is set in this one night of crazy Christmas parties and bars.

If Die Hard is the best Christmas action movie and Scrooged is the best Christmas comedy, than this is the best Christmas drugs movie. It’s about scoring drugs, tripping on drugs, and having fun times with your buddies while being on drugs. But it’s not all about this things by any means. This isn’t the Trainspotting of Christmas movies. Instead, it’s a comedy about friendship and even romance. What really makes it work is the going from place to place in the city during one-night approach, which is always a fun sub-genre of movies. And here, setting it around Christmas time in a story about three friends on a mission to find a top secret party, turns out to be a lot of fun.

Christmas Vacation

This is one of the long time classics. It’s also one of the movies that almost straddles the line between adults and kids Christmas movie, (just like Red One, which is also on this list.) The themes are certainly kid friendly, but there’s enough adult humor to make land the movie more on this list than the other. And that adult humor is pretty much all sexual.

Clark Grizwald (Chevy Chase) is a married man who loves his wife and family, but he is certainly tempted and interested at looking at other women. And all of that factors into this movie, but it is hardly what the movie is about. The movie is about a man hosting Christmas with his family and his wife’s family, all coming together to stay under one roof. From the buying of the Christmas tree to the hanging the lights on the roof, to the last minute Christmas shopping, this movie covers all the bases of a household Christmas gathering in the suburbs. Chevy Chase is a just right fit for this part, much like Bill Murray was for Scrooged or Seth Rogen is for The Night Before. Each of these movies could not be made without another actor, and would feel completely different if they ever tried. But with this perfect casting, and all of the holiday traditions that the movie explores, each with a creative level of humor, this movie works.

Love Actually

This is the romantic movie on the list. Sure there are romantic plots and elements in other movies here, from Scrooged to The Night Before, but this is it. This is the one. This is the movie where romance and Love are in the air, around every corner. So why is it on the adult Christmas movie list? Because it’s not just about love, but also about sex. In fact, one of the many storylines here features extras in a movie who are specifically standing in for the lighting on a sex scene, where they are both completely naked.

This is one of those movies where a whole bunch of stories are all connected to each other. It’s the type of thing that director Robert Altman used to do and be known for. More often than not, that type of approach doesn’t work. Only some of the stories are interesting, and mostly it feels gimmicky. But here, these stories manage to be pretty creative. From the English man who goes to America simply because he wants to meet hot babes and here’s that American women dig English accents to the little boy who lost his mom, lives with his dad and is in love with the girl who is the lead singer in his band, to the unexpected elderly pop-star who suddenly has a mega-hit on his hand that is topping all the charts, this one definitely gets creative.

Even the “stalker,” story about a man who is in love with the wife of his best friend is pretty great. That story has gotten a bad rap in the years since, but are we really so judgmentally today that we have forgotten songs like “My Best Friends Girl,” “Jessie’s Girl,” or “Every Move You Make?” Being in love with another woman, even when she’s already taken, has always been a common and realistic trope, and the fact that this movie takes chances with making that into a full-blown story is pretty ambitious and interesting.

This movie has so many stories and so much going. on. Not all of them are great (I don’t particularly love the Colin Farrell story, which seems apart from the others, since it is not set in England, in the same proximity as all of the other characters,) but most of them do. And I love that they aren’t all about good people doing the right thing, but instead are about people who succumb to temptations. These include not only Andrew Lincoln who doesn’t really act on his desires (other than a nice, cutesy cue card scene,) to Alan Rickman, who does. And despite all of the many storylines (Laura Linney gets one that is definitely different and unique,) the movie still makes time for short one-off scenes that a strictly comedic, such as Rowan Atkinson showing up as a salesman who doesn’t understand time constraints. And there’s also, of course, the story of the prime minister and all of his quirks to pursue a new love interest. The movie has so much going for it, with so many comedic and strange storylines, that it turns out to be a lot of fun.

Violent Night

It’s Die Hard meets Home Alone, only neither of those movies features Santa Claus. This one does. What if Die Hard happened in a mansion, and instead of a cop kicking terrorist ass, it was actually Santa Claus? That’s the premise here. It’s so crazy that it actually works. The movie is hardcore bloody and violent, and if that was all it had going for it, it would get tiresome fast. But this one also works as a comedy (granted a very dark, black one.)

The humor isn’t super smart, like it is in some of those other comedies (such as Scrooged,) but it is B movie level humor all the way, and it knows it. The movie doesn’t try to be anything more than it is. Most of the humor comes from the bickering family members at the Christmas party, but by bickering what I really mean is one family at the party who is rude and fake, and all about getting the wealthy mother’s money. The other family, our protagonists here, don’t seem to care. And that definitely makes it better, as opposed to a story where both families were assholes arguing back and forth. Here, we relate to the family that doesn’t care, (Jason, his ex-wife, and his daughter,) and watch the stupidity and antics of the other family right alongside them.

With all that said, let’s be honest… this movie isn’t about family. It’s about violence. It’s literally called Violent Night, and that’s exactly what it is. Santa finds himself stuck in a mansion with a bunch of terrorists (really murdering robbers, just like in Die Hard,) when his reindeer fly off, leaving him behind. He doesn’t want to be there, (just like in Die Hard,) and doesn’t even want to fight the villains, but he is given no choice when they start attacking him.

There’s a lot that works about this movie. It’s the type of flick that actually gets better the more times you see it. The all in one night story is great. The single location is great. And what really works nicely is all the ways that Santa gets creative with the different things at his disposal (such as his bag full of gifts, his naughty and nice list, and even a pipe where he blows into it and it zaps him up or down a chimney.) When it comes to A movie Christmas action, Die Hard is the hands down winner. For B movie Christmas action, this one definitely takes the cake.

Office Christmas Party

Office Christmas Party, and the other movies that follow it on this list are good, but not great. With this one, it does carry on the one night of Christmas theme that is so common in so many great Christmas movies (Die Hard, The Night Before, Violent Night.) It also offers up a colorful cast of characters, mostly composed of TV personas, but all with real comedic presence.

Red One

This is the movie that straddles the line between adult and kids movie. It’s not R, and has no sex or drugs, so it’s definitely not a strict adult movie. But it also has plenty

Bad Santa

A Harold and Kumar Christmas